PSA: Nice bootay is not worth dying over

Color me shocked when I trolled the regular news feeds and found this headline: Former Miss Argentina Dies from Butt Implant Surgery. I repeat, you can not make this stuff up.

Ladies and Gents, have we learned nothing from Kanye and his momma? Stop putting your life in jeopardy over silliness. These surgeons must be crooked as hell, if a RICH person can’t even get quality treatment! What chance to do we have?

This ish is definitely making me rethink that forehead modification I had planned for my 40th. Sure, I appreciate a nice neanderthal slope–but not enough to catch the grim reaper on my doorstep. Guess I’ll have to settle for my horribly plain (flat) face. I’m staying au natural until the celebrities death toll get’s back to a respectable level. Stay safe my insecure brethren.