Contestant 1

Miss Kim Kardashian. I love doing competitions with Kim as a contestant, because she always give me plenty of material to work with. She is definitely the “it” girl of the moment — blessed with a whole lotta rump. But after viewing her stiff Dancing with the Stars performance, I’m convinced she doesn’t know what to do with it. And that’s just sad. Oh well, she still looks fine standing still. Feast!

Kim Kardashian Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian Kim Kardashian Kim Kardashian

Contestant 2

Jessica “The Body” Biel. Is there really much more I can say about her? Just your typical child-actress-turned-rebellious-teen-turned-adult story… now with more booty!

Jessica Biel
Jessica Biel Jessica Biel
Jessica Biel Jessica Biel

Also, I don’t know if the rumors are true. But I hear Miss Biel is set to play my favorite Super Hero. And lookie at the pic I found online to corroborate the story (courtesy of Bunk).
Jessica Biel as Wonderwoman


Ready. Set. Go.