Kim Kardashian vs. CoCo (Mrs. T)

I’m going with Kim K both for class above trash and also more well proportioned. If you have the booty you shouldn’t have to show it off in such a trashy (vulgar?) manner. If the pictures above are representative then Kim K wins by a mile.

Wow, that is a tough call, i want to go with coco, but i know that if you had a picture of kim in a g-string fabricated out of christmas tree tinsel that would level the field. But after all this is a booty contest and you have to recognize the booty’s roots in the ghetto. This round goes to coco – break out the yak yall!

Ok…this is similar to voting for your favorite adult beverage…
A 55 gallon drum of mad dog versus a swimming pool full of breastmilk and vodka.
Neither sounds like a good idea or has an ounce of class, but both will fuck you right up.

You have to give Coco her props…a red dress with an ass crack window? C’mon! That is off the hook! I would be willing to bet that she could crush Fosters cans with her ass cheeks.

And Kim! If your vision of slutty hoe is at all weighted more heavily towards the caboose…then Kim has got to be your ultimate idea of slutty hoishness.

I am going to have to go with Kim K…cause although she looks like she got her tires filled at a service station full of blind people, her ass is the Saturn to Coco’s Jupiter.

um, are those pictures gonna give my computer crabs? crack kills, in all forms…

i think i have to go with K.K. as well, Cocos ass does look bigger cause of her nakedness but because she looks like the stripper/crack whores i’ve seen shaking it in Tijuana i believe K.K. should win this round hands down…

ah Jeley you are a poet dear sir.
“Ass crack window” put me into a delicious giggle fit– but you had me at “breastmilk and vodka”.

I am leaning more towards Kim K myself, for exactly the reasons stated above. CoCo’s choice in clothing is too distracting to really appreciate her body. But I have to admit- she’s got Kim beat on sheer size.

Edited to Add: I tried to find a pic of Kim in a g-string as requested by jlines… but it was suprisingly hard. Aside from her sex tape, Kim K is quite demure. Even her poses in Playboy weren’t as edgy as anything CoCo does on a daily basis. Here is the raciest photo I could find (similar to the CoCo Crack Shot™, but certainly not ghetto)

First of all I’d just like to say what a great goddamn competition this is. Even though some girls might be “going home” (so to speak) after the first round, I still feel that everyone somehow still wins. Everyone.

As for this head-to-head match-up (or is it ass-to-ass?), I’m gonna have to go with KK, cuz she took my babies away, and by babies I mean soldiers – yes, the ones that I deploy through my Meat Cannon. And now that I’ve divulged way too much information about my masturbating habits, I bid you all a farewell and leave you with this prediction:

Kim Kardashian will take this tournament. Oh yes, she will take this tournament just like she’s taken gallons of my homemade protein.

So I guess it means I’m out of touch with both popular culture and the female booty (except my own of course) since I had never heard of either of the women in this comparison. However, I gotta go with the real brunette over the other brunette that’s gone blonde. Weighing in with the female perspective (since I’ve been mistaken for one a few times now), I was looking at CoCo’s can from the scientific perspective, trying to figure out what is muscle and what is fat. Even not being sure of the composition, taken as a whole (a “hole”) it’s just disturbing. I thought I liked big butts but I cannot lie, that’s just toooo big. My chick thought was “where does she buy jeans?” but maybe she can’t find any that fit, hence she’s forced by society to wear g-strings and assless dresses.

That picture of Ice-T and Coco could easily have contended for a Douchie award on Hot Chicks with Douchebags (.com). Wow.

And now, on to the asses. . .

Coco’s backside looks like Jabba the Hutt when he holds his breath. For her sake, I hope she doesn’t walk through the New York Yankees’ clubhouse because she might accidentally bump into Andy Pettitte or Roger Clemens and easily pop an ass cheek on one of their steroid/HGH needles.

Forgive me for showing my age here, but I don’t even know what the hell a Kim Kardashian is. Aren’t the Kardashians one of the alien races that Picard and crew encountered on Star Trek The Next Generation?? That and since she is a prominent figure in El Gammy’s spank bank, I have no choice but to eliminate her like last night’s shredded beef burrito.

Congrats to Coco. With those mountainous cheeks, her farts must sing like the Sirens of Titan. . .

Oh yeah, and I hate to do this here but it was the only place and SOMEBODY has to do it: how in the hell do Ali Larter and Hayden Panettiere make this list, but not Vida Guerra? In fact, I see Vida Guerra as the only legitimate contender to Kim K.

Here’s some evidence for Vida (relatively safe for work… I think).

Now, to all you heterosexuals reading this, how can you look at that pic and not demand that she be added to this tournament? This is blasphemy in its purest form and any “booty championship” that doesn’t include Vida Guerra is entirely inadequate as far as I’m concerned.

Oh, and if Guerra replaces Larter, I nominate any of the following to replace Panettiere: Eva Longoria, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Eva Mendes or Scarlet Johansson. Come to think of it, any one of those could replace Eliza Douche-koo too.

HolySmith! has made an interesting discovery. Coco’s ass and Boobie Sun God (click the link below) are identical twins, separated at birth. One went on to be a nice rack and wound up on Hot Chicks with Douchebags.com. The other went on to be Coco’s ass.

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/10/boobie-sun-god.htm

The proof is in the pictures…open it in a new window and place it next to the picture of Coco’s ass and tell me that ass and that rack are not identical twins.

And Coco’s ass still wins.

For the link above…try this instead:
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB10194-738547.jpg

I can see that over the next few weeks I’m going to have to make some of the toughest choices I have ever had to make in my life…on par with:
- Will she notice if don’t put a condom on?
- Screw it, this feels to great I’m not pulling out
- And, it is your body and your decision, but I’m just saying…(don’t worry, my cousin ended up having the baby and it wasn’t mine. Apparently my other cousin beat me there)

As far as Kim K vs Coco goes…
Coco’s ass is redunkulous to the point that it is hard to tear your eyes away from studying it. This must be like meeting a girl with three tits; your first reaction is ‘REALLY?’, you can’t stop looking, you have a ton of questions and you wouldn’t mind going for a test drive. However at the end of the day there is something unnerving about the whole thing, kind of like a girl who likes anal too much and I can’t give my vote to that.

I could go on about the virtues of Kim’s ass but I will save that for a later round.

El Gammy-
I bear some of the responsibility for Eliza Dushku. There was a need for a booty to go up against Jessica Alba’s in the ‘small / taught/ yet still round’ category and she lent herself to the task. I believe Hayden and Ali Larter are in there to answer the question, ‘who on Heroes has the best booty’ which I think we can all agree is doing God’s work.

Regarding your other peeps (all this in my opinion, this is Madame’s list so she has the final say/ reason why they aren’t here):
- I think Eva L is more hips than ass and Parker is already hitting other ass so how great can it be.
- Jenifer Love Hewitt? I’m not even going to comment on that suggestion.
- Eva Mendez, I believe she was on the short list but it came down to matchups
- Scarlet J, if this were a Battle of the Boobs I would make her the favorite.

But I couldn’t agree more that not having Vida G. in this calls into the question the entire competition, but alas it is Madame’s list and she deemed her ‘not famous enough’. Oh course all of her fame is based purely on her ass so I say it should count for triple…

This is tough… because I believe many opinions here, mine included, are affected by us thinking who we’d rather sleep with. I would def hit kim over coco as i’m sure most of us would but that does not mean that Kim has the best ass. Coco’s ass is more firm and more athletic and is relatively equal in size. Ok well i’m not sure when the deadline is but maybe i can get a few screen grabs from the infamous tape and send to madame for posting. Maybe that will give us a good comparison. As an aside, after pam and tommy, every celebrity sex tape i’ve…err.. my friends have seen are boring. If what i saw on those tapes is representative of what i’d get in real life with these ‘ladies’, then… i don’t know… just disappointing…

in the end, i guess i’ll go with Kim in the lesser trash vs. biggest trash category…

OK — I guess I have to weigh in on this now. Amazing string of comments. TMI Gammy, TMI.

My vote goes to Kim K. I can’t possibly believe that Coco’s ass is even remotely natural. That girl HAD to get implants. They just don’t grow that big naturally without the rest of the bod getting as large, if you get my drift. Per Holysmith’s last comment, Coco’s butt looks like a huge rack.

Besides, I have to vote based on level of skankiness. Coco is positively trashy. Kim it is.

Hooray for democracy! Yay!

And while we’re at it… Hooray for asses!! Woo-hoo!!

EP, just FYI regarding JLH: admittedly she’s one of my personal favorites and the sole reason why my daughter’s middle name is Love. She’s got a great ass but it probably doesn’t belong on this tournament, I just thought I would sneak it in there just in case there was another fanatic/stalker of hers in here. No harm no foul right?

Does anyone else think it’s great that we’ve all been constantly referring to these chicks’ asses as their own separate entities? Worthy of their own pronouns and exclusive paragraphs? Personally, I could write an entire thesis on Kim K’s badonkadonk (and yes, I went to Google to learn how to spell badonkadonk correctly).

JenLoveHew’s ass is to “great” as Mike Tyson’s brain is to “appropriately functional”

There seems to be some suspicion as to whether coco is throwing around the booty god gave her. I can see how the untrained may see a horizontal butt-crease and call shenanegans. But that is nothing more than stellar butt control. She is simply lifting her gluteus medius, or high-ass, for the uninitiated.

KK is way hotter agreed, but she would be even hotter if she was rocking coco’s ass. think about it.

People People People…why all the hate in the atmosphere. We’re clouding the issues with talk of morals and who looks trashy, etc. etc. Folks, this is a battle of the booty, nothing more, nothing less. Imagine if you knew nothing of these two women and were out and one or both stepped to you, or if you just happened to see them walking by. These booties are what make men knock their current woman in the back of the head only to tell her later she must have drank too much.

I almost begged asteroidbooty not to match these two up together this early, but I realize they are in the same category. But, as much as I’m an a$$ man, I’m even more of an a$$/face combo man and as a result must go with Kardashian. Because unfortunately, women do not love doggie as much as men and at some point you have to look at the face….and as great as the booty may be all of your friends/coworkers and family only get to see the face…unless you go to a Hedonism resort!!!

Give me KK!