Adriana Lima vs. Brooke Burke

Victoria’s Secret vs. The Best thing to evar happen to a Doritos commercial.

Because both women are beautiful and have “nice” posteriors, not standout asses, I am going to have to defer to mathmatics rather than conventional “if/elseif/then” logic.

Adriana gets 3 points for being a star of the greatest free soft porn rag on the planet.
Adriana gets 2 points for being “Brazilian” if you get my drift (not that Brooke isn’t, but I’m jus sayin)
Adriana gets 2 points for the “hip dimples” right above her ass. (The first actual nearly ass points she is getting)

Brooke gets 5 points for hanging around for years and still looking tight.
Brooke gets another 5 points for having a full litter of rug rats and still looks tight.
Brooke gets 5 points for bouncing one of those horrible baked Dorito 3D’s off her ass in that Superbowl commercial about 7 years ago (her first real ass points in the competition)

Now since these 2 are playing on a different field than Kim K. and Coco…in fact if this were football, Adriana and Brooke would be the NFL and Kim and Coco would be the CFL (for those that missed the reference, I am comparing the size of the pitches that the 2 leagues play on….duh!) I think it is only fair that the be compared strictly to one another and that their butts be considered more highly than personal attributes such as modeling skivvies to 14 year olds that wanna dress like prosti-tots or spending 6 years in endentured pregnatude.

Based upon the evidense presented and ignoring all the possible air-brushing that has occured, I am going with Adriana. I know, I know…mathmatically Brooke is a landslide winner, but look at those pictures for Christ’s sake.

adriana *drool wins

ok back for more… adriana’s ass seems to be more plump and shapely. that first picture is the fire…. i’m ready to set up camp in it for life…

Transitioning from Kim K./ Coco to Adriana/ Brooke Burke is like transitioning from Hennessey to Dom Perignon.

One is big and rough, will get you f*&@’ed up in a hurry. It is also cheap enough you can afford plenty and you feel manly after slamming it down and owning it. Even if you have a chance of puking after you do it.

The other is delicate and sweet and while slamming it down isn’t an option you don’t feel less manly b/c you know every other mofo in the room wants a taste. However, the price can leave you with quite a hangover….

As far as Adriana vs. Brooke goes I think it is like Dom vs. Vueve. Personally I love Vueve, when you drink it you know you are going to have a good time; it is affordable enough that it is practical and popping your cork never gets old with Vueve. If money were no object, Dom is probably all those things with a little fuller body and smoother finish….for that reason I’m going with Adriana’s Dom to Brooke’s Vueve

that’s funny i was going to compare them by handbags; louis vuitton (Lima) vs dooney and bourke (Burke)(no pun intended). there obviously is no REAL comparison b/w the two (asses or handbags), louis wins hands down, but anyone would definitely settle for a bourke…

by the way, i just wanted to mention that alba is now engaged after being impregnated… i am truly depressed… more pics of lima please…

Eh. Neither of these chickies do anything for me. I know we’re supposed to just be looking at cans, but they are just standard issue model. Not particularly fit, nor skinny, nor stacked, nor nothin’. The only thing interesting is the one picture of Burke on the glass table. They must have spent some time arranging her boobies so no nipple was showing in the picture. I’m guessing there is a camera assistant lying under the table just looking up through the glass though. I’ll give her the bootie nod just for that shot.

lol
she’s eating a watermelon… why do i find that funny

Adriana wins this one hands down

I’d eat her watermelon; and by watermelon I mean “Adriana Lima”… and by eat I mean “have sex with”.

Although I have to give props to Brooke for being so tight after four kids, I just don’t think she’s got the better wanna-be ass of the two in this match up. Adriana does have the little dimples going in the first picture. Nice for a girl with not a lot of ass.
LaterSkater has a great point . . . I was thinking the same thing when I saw the first Brooke picture. Lots of arranging of nips in order to keep them out of the shot.
Oh — and I am the only woman that thinks that the panties in the fourth pic of Adriana (hot pink number) looks uncomfortable? I’m all about the thong folks, but a pair of undies that go half way across the ass cheek look horrible. Of course, if I had a lot less ass, they would probably fit better. LOL.

Everyone (yes, ladies too) please complete the following exercise before submitting your vote:

Step 1. Close your eyes. (If you’re a man, proceed to step 4. Women, please continue to step 2)
Step 2. Imagine you have a penis.
Step 3. Acknowledge how great it is to be able to pee standing up.
Step 4. Picture yourself entering one of these fine ladies in the classic missionary position.
Step 5. Ask yourself as you begin to violently thrust and you slowly look down: whose eyes would you rather be looking into?

If your answer is not Adriana Lima by default, please go see your primary care physician as soon as possible, as you may be suffering from some sort of exotic ocular disease that prevents you from being able to identify the absolute best pair of eyes in the history of existence.

I know this is an ass competition, but if there ever were such a thing as a perfect candidate for ocular penetration, commonly known as “skull fucking,” (thanks Jeley) Adriana Lima would be it.

Everyone seems to be using their own grading system when judging these asses. Mine was obviously eyes. Just look at her! You can see all of your hopes and dreams in her eyes. Legend says if you stare long enough into Lima’s eyes, you can see the godly ass of Aphrodite.

every day it seems that El Gammy becomes more wise. I think El Gammy should be the next Dahli Fucking Lama…Screw the Iowa caucuses..I am voting for El Gammy to be the next Dahli Lama. Where do I register to vote for the next exhiled religious leader of Tibet?

El Gammy to Jeleyman: “Goony, Goony a goo goo.”
El Gammy: “On you deathbed you will receive total consciousness.”
Jeleyman: “So I figure I got that going for me.”

Adriana takes this round and not just because she makes it fun and easy for me to purchase great things for my special lady from Victoria’s Secret.

The skinny women take a lot of ire from other women, and it is always fun to watch. And Adriana also doesn’t have a heaping bundle of fake doubledees on her front side, so she doesn’t need a giant ass to counterbalance herself when she walks. In this case, less is more.

I happen to love the petite chicks. They are way fun in the shower and they can take the kind of pounding you would think only women twice their size could handle. If you ever have the means, I highly recommend taking one for a test drive (El Gammy).

I love El Gammy’s comments.

They generally marry a good comedic concept with the complete inability to even slow down when they cross ‘that line’. He is like the Hustler of commenter’s on these threads to others Playboy. Personally I’m a fan of the money shot, keep up the good work.

Thanks to EP and Jeley for all their support, but what is “that line” that everybody keeps telling me about? I’ve never been a big fan of borders and boundaries, so I cross them without hesitation – which is a good thing because otherwise I probably would’ve never made it into this country in the first place.

In the words of the late, great Speedy Gonzalez (who is probably related to me in some way): Andale, andale! Arriba! Arriba!